First Day of School

Dear Vella,

Today was your first day of school. You were very excited to be going to school today and we went to the end of the driveway early to wait for you bus. You were disappointed that we had to wait for awhile for the bus and I think it was a good thing since your excitement peeked once the bus finally arrived. While we were waiting you were asking me and Audrey if we would miss you, oh darling, I kept it deep inside just how much I would miss you, because I didn’t want you to worry. Your backpack was so big, and that first step on the bus so high, you’re still so little and still my baby and it was strange for me to see you climb in and have a seat. I smiled as big as I could and waved to you on the bus, and when you looked out the window I could see it settle in, the bits of sadness to be leaving your mom behind and that scared feeling in the pit of your stomach. The more worried you looked the bigger I smiled and the harder I waved. I’m counting down the minutes until you come back to me and I can’t wait to hear all about your day.

I remember the first day that I went to school so vividly. I was wearing these light pink leather shoes that had a tassel on the toe and a strap that went across the top of my foot. I was waiting at the end of my driveway and looking at my feet and I thought to myself “I need to remember this, this is an important day”. My dear girl I hope that you remember your first day of school and just how brave and smart you are.

I have mixed emotions about this day, I know that you are ready for school, and I know that you are excited so part of me is happy, but letting you go out into the world all on your own leaves me anxious and a little sad. From this day forward you will be living part of your life on your own, away from me. I know that sometimes things get boring at home, and sometimes you watch too much tv, and sometimes I’m tired and not much fun, but no one loves you more than me and in the end I know as long as I’m there you’re safe and you’re loved and that has brought me such comfort. But this is part of our journey, and it’s important for us to learn how to interact with people who do not love us unconditionally and to be able to cope with things without the security of our parents. I know that each day you will learn a little more about the world, and about your strength and I know that this will only serve to help you out in the long run so I am thankful for this opportunity, this opportunity for you to grow into the individual you are destined to be.

Baby girl I am going to be there for you. Every morning I will smile and wave away those butterflies that threaten to gather in the pit of your stomach. I’m going to leave little notes in your lunchbox to remind you that you are loved and that I am here waiting for you each day. I am going to bake you special treats to come home to so you have something yummy to eat while you tell me about your day. I’m going to dress you up in your favorite outfits and do your hair the way that you want. I’m going to be at every parent teacher meeting, every play, every little thing that brings me a little closer to this world that is only your own. I’m going to be there, standing tall with open arms greeting you from that bus at the end of each day. You’re going to learn to be out there on your own and you’re going to stand a little taller because you’ll know that even though I’m not standing beside you I am always there.

 You make me so proud my love, you are amazing.

xoxo(xoxoxoxoxo)

Your Mummum