Dear Nate,
Last night when we said our goodbyes you told me one last time happy mother’s day, and that I am a wonderful mother, and that I deserved more than a day, and I replied that I always get more than a day, because you take such good care of me.
I just wanted to put it here in writing that I really do believe this. You are such a wonderful husband and caring father, and nearly every weekend you work extra hard to take care of the kids, change all the diapers you can, and let me sleep in. It’s funny to me because aside from the lovely heartfelt gifts this Sunday really wasn’t all that different than any other and it fills me with such gratitude because regardless of the day you always take special care to give us your all and make sure that we all get what we need.
There are so many times that I find myself thinking about you and feeling an overwhelming amount of appreciation that you are my partner in this life. We spoke briefly about those times we hung out all those years ago, times when there was little more than a spark and a possibility between us. I remember you so distinctly, there in your apartment, the way you connected with those around you, your gentleness, your humor, a picture of you and your college friends on your fridge, your sandals by the door. All these little bits that I took in, I remember each and everyone. I remember the rush of excitement I felt in the pit of my stomach when I was around you, I remember everyone finding their place to rest on the couch, and me getting up to go see you. I remember staying up talking to you, I remember the rhythm of your breathing changing as you fell asleep and the birds outside beginning to sing as night faded and the morning appeared. I remember our last conversation after this fateful meeting, you sitting on your desk telling me about your move back home, me wishing you weren’t leaving but not being able to say it, you telling me between the lines that you had no ties there in Ottawa to keep you there. I remember waking up in the morning and feeling the loss of something that never was.
I love the story you told me about when we first started dating. You had told someone at work that you met a girl and he was all taken aback and telling you that it was too early to be attached to someone. Pleading his case he said “remember that girl in Ottawa that you were so head over heels about?” and you replied “that’s the girl I’m with”.
It amazes me every day that the universe found a way to keep us together, and that we are here in this place. I love being able to indulge in you completely and that there is nothing there to hold us back. I love that we are husband and wife and we have these kids that are equal parts you and me. The more we grow together and intertwine the more complete I feel. When I fell in love with you all those years ago I knew so little about who you were, I had no idea about the unending patience and care you possessed.
There’s really no words to express the thanks I feel for all that you are but I’m going to go ahead and say it anyway. Thank you. Thank you for making me feel so special, thank you for taking such great care to make this mother’s day special. Thank you for putting extra effort into everyday we spend together. Thank you for finding your way back to me.
I love you, I love you, I love you.
Lauri
